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GM3YEW > HUMOUR   05.02.19 09:30z 150 Lines 2791 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 27763_GB7YEW
Read: GUEST
Subj: Jokes 5/2
Path: HB9ON<IW2OHX<IR2UBX<DB0RES<DB0OVN<DB0GOS<ON0AR<GB7CIP<GB7YEW
Sent: 190205/0646Z 27763@GB7YEW.GB7YEW.#79.GBR.EURO BPQ6.0.18

 

  As Grandmother used to say
 
  The winds of the daytime wrestle and fight,longer and stronger than those of the night
-------
 
 BLONDE ON THE SUN
 
 A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were  talking one
 day. The Russian said, "We were the first in  space!"
 The American said, "We were the first on  the moon!"
 The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to  be the first on
 the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and
 shook their heads. "You can't land on the  sun, you idiot! You'll
 burn up!" said the Russian. To which the  Blonde replied, "We're not
 stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
 
 
--------
 
 
 
 
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.
 
At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when
 
They accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.
 
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is
 
Actually alive.
 
She lived for ten more years, and then dies peacefully.
 
A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony
 
The pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.
 
As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch the wall!""
 
 
---------
 
 
 
 
A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on
 
Santa's lap.
 
Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?"
 
The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and Action Man."
 
Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie
 
comes with Ken."
 
"No," said the little girl. "She comes with Action Man, she fakes it with
 
Ken."
 
----------
 
 
The other day I phoned my local pizza delivery firm and asked for a thin and
 
crusty supreme.
 
They sent me Diana Ross.
 
 
  -----------
 
 
 
 
Scientist today exhumed Beethoven from his grave, when they opened the
 
coffin, they were shocked to see him playing the piano backwards. When asked
 
what this meant a spokesman said he was de-composing
 
  --------
 
 
Sky have just won the rights to screen the first World Origami Championships
 
from Tokyo.
 
Unfortunately it's only available on Paper View
 
 
---------
 
Sean Connery gets a call from his agent one day.
 
The agent goes "Sean, I've got you a job, starts tomorrow, early. You'll
 
have to be there for 10-ish".
 
Sean furrows his brow and says "Tennish? but I don't even have a racket."
 
--------
SLIGHTLY SEXUAL
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
 
She stands next to the barber chair, eating a cake while her dad gets his
 
Haircut.
 
The barber smiles at her and says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on
 
Your muffin."
 
"I know," she replies. "I'm gonna get beasts too."
 
 
 
 
73 de dave
gm3yew@gb7yew
  
  
 


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